balance? cha.

I'm having a hard time trying to manage my work and my home life, and I'm about at the end of my rope with it. Things started getting especially tough about a month ago when we had a gap in day care coverage. I work three days a week, so when I have to stay home one or more of those days, it makes it tough to finish the work that I need to do. For the past several weeks, I've barely been able to get into the office at all:

Week before Christmas - no day care, so my husband and I took turns covering. I got into the office for less than one and a half days total.

Week of Christmas - I took some time off around the holidays and made it into the office for one and a half days that week.

Week of New Year's - because of the holiday and a couple of short transition days at our new day care, I made it to the office one and a half days total.

Second week of Jan - almost back to normal, but I had a doctor's appointment one day, and didn't get into the office until 11:00. I was able to get quite a bit done that week, but it was all catch-up. Meanwhile, new work was still mounting.

This week - this could have been the week where things started to get back to normal, but we had a snow emergency on Monday, thus no day care. This morning (Tues) Emito woke up with a raspy cough and a fever. So now, chances for getting into work tomorrow are iffy.

At this point, I've got so much work backed up that I get nauseous thinking about it. And my enthusiasm for my job is seriously waning. Each day I grow more weary of being pulled in two directions. I have daily fantasies about quitting.

But it's not that easy. It would be hard to give up the paycheck and the automatic contributions to my retirement account, especially since we hope to move to a new house in the next year or two. If I were to quit my job, we might be forced to stay put.

I don't know what to do. Well, one thing I do think about -- and have for a long time -- would be to work for myself somehow, something with my art. It wouldn't be easy though, especially with a toddler at home. And M has never been particularly keen on the idea - mostly because it would mean an indefinite lack of income (on my part, anyway). Not that he's not against the idea entirely, he just wants me to keep my day job while I explore new options. I understand where he's coming from, but with my current schedule, I just don't see that happening. There will always be something else demanding my attention.

BLEH. I hate the feeling of having my feet stuck while my arms are yanked around. I love being a mom, and I treasure my time with Emito. I also want to be creative/productive and contribute to the household finances in some way. I just feel there's got to be a better way. Question is -- Will I ever find it?

Comments

[Jenn]

We've been really lucky in this aspect. Soon after I quit my job, I got the job blogging. Soon before that went away, I got another job working from home. Good luck.

[Nico]

I know what you mean about the day care being an issue - I'm fine with the work home balance if I make it in all three days, but when I don't (like Monday when my mom didn't come because of the snow) I feel like I run around the rest of the week like the proverbial chicken. I'm in a very similar boat, thinking about other things I'd like to do but not really able to come up with anything just yet. Hopefully we'll both manage it with time and thought!

p.s. nice to hear from you :-)

[Tonya]

Boy, do I hear ya. I'm in a 9-month countdown before I have to go back to work (for financial reasons), come hell or high water. It sucks. I LOVE being home with my son, but I haven't yet found a way to be paid for my talents without having to drive somewhere to do it during the day.

Hoping you find a great solution soon. (And it's nice to see you posting again!)

[thalia]

yup, no solutions, just commiserations. It's really tough, this balance act we have to do. I'd say if you have an idea, take a risk, you will almost certainly be happier in the end, even if you have to stay in your current house for an extra year or something.

[ovagirl]

Yeah i completely hear this pixi. A few times in the near past I've been driven almost spare at not being able to work at home. C and I (currently both working from home) have to do a... it's your turn now, it's my turn now...thing, to ensure we both get stuff done. His is the most stable income so he tends to get the most time but I AM THE MOST INSANE when there is no time to write. It's a juggle, constantly. I don't know the answer yet, oh wait yes I do, I can have quality time with Tricky plus my husband plus get writing done but my house will be a SHITHEAP.