My Photo

Twitter Updates

    follow me on Twitter
    Blog powered by Typepad

    « et tu, brute? | Main | how are we supposed to do this? »


    fisher queen

    It's so nice to have an artist in our midst. You present such an interesting viewpoint on our shared misery...I like the fact that the innerpsychegram is blurred and unresolved at the end. It speaks to the meaninglessness of the past ups and downs.

    One thing about IF that just kills me is that while the rest of the world, and even we, during the course of treatment, follow a timeline, the experience of IF is very circular, and sometimes implodes right on itself. Make any sense? While time passes, we are just stuck in this place, not really moving ahead, but just kind of vibrating, as you said. It might be interesting to try to represent that. I'm thinking in terms of kinetic sculpture, but could also see something two dimensional and abstract ala Rothko.


    I've got a giant headcold so please forgive my lack of intellectual prowess today (and every day, for that matter!). But have to say that I love the innerpsychegram. Very cool and so alive-looking. Wow, you'd never know that I went to college w. this comment.


    An interesting question. I had never thought about it before, but when I read your entry I thought of a maze as an image for my struggle with miscarriages. I like the idea of the maze because there are historically two very different types of mazes: One is the kind in which you get lost. It has high walls, which prevent you from seeing your destination and you may wander around in circles getting increasingly frustrated and scared. That kind of maze best describes my current set of emotions. But there is also another kind that was primarily used for religious purposes, e.g. in churches. It is a mediation maze, and it is simply a drawing on the floor/ground. Following its path is meant to be an exercise in concentration and introspection. But you can always see where you are going and know that you will eventually reach the end. I wish I could turn my journey into this latter type of maze; into a challenge I have to get though but that I will ultimately leave behind.


    I really, really like your innerpsychegram--it is very evocative, and I like the way it starts out fairly clean and gets muddier/foggier. The comments before me were interesting--on the one hand, I do think that the experience of IF (and miscarriages) is very circular--it is hard to find forward motion in it, sometimes. At the same time, what you said about dramatic up/down swings also rang very true, and I am not sure how that would be conveyed in something less linear. I will have to think more about what image I would use and get back to you...
    Oh! and I though Lisa's comment about the 2 mazes was very insightful.


    I've often tried to express it in a painting or drawing, but I haven't been able to come up with anything that truly expresses it. I've also been in a huge creative block for months now though.

    Lisa P.

    I love your innerpsychegram, Pixi. I might have to try to visualize my own path one of these days, but you've done a great job of describing what we go through.


    I think it's beautiful, although also very sad. The ending looks so dark and blurred, although even in that darkness there are two points light and the colour still comes and goes.


    I am totally blown away by your psychegram. In general I'm not a fan of 'modern' art - if I could do it, it's not art, in my mind. This, however, is amazing. Definitely NOT something I could do. I love how you've used both the line and the colors to paint your emotional state.

    And now I'm thinking about how different my psychegram would look from this - in fact how each of us has charted a unique path to get to where we are today.

    I think you're right on with the linear interpretation. It's hard to conceive of how else to illustrate the ups and downs, highs and lows.


    I have actually never thought of a visual representation of this experience but then again, I'm no artist. But I love that you've thought to do and have shared it with us. The splotchy darkness at the end makes me think of my own post-miscarriage period. Maybe the months of trying after the miscarriage would look like those needle things that show earthquake intensity (can't think of the name of it) where it goes up and down in large arcs very quickly - each minute feeling something different and many times completely contrary to the previous emotion.
    I hope the next plot point is a high point with very few lows to follow.


    Amazing how something that comes out of such pain could be so ineffably beautiful.

    There's a metaphor in there somewhere, but I'm damned if I can find it.


    Your innerpsychegram is beautiful, tragic and spooky. So spooky that I'm only commenting now -- the right side of the graph is so bleak and painful to look at. So I would say it is a very accurate representation of what all this has felt like -- feels like -- to me. Raw. Dark. No resolution in sight.

    And sigh, no metaphors from me either.


    No title suggestions, but i love your use of color; the red of passion, of blood, of rage...


    Wow. I love this. It's so perfect with the colors you've chosen and the textures represented as well. Pixi, I am well impressed by that. I can't even imagine how you did that! I also like how it seems like the line is zinging-- like electricity coming off the main line. It's like when a power line arcs; you know to it's dangerous and can hurt, but it's real power there too. And that power of our emotional ride in these IF treatments is something people just don't get. Good Lord. I love it.

    The comments to this entry are closed.