I have lots of memories of my mom as a young woman -- with her waist length hair and light blue eyeshadow (ok, she still wears that), driving her gold VW Beetle. She was a fun mom -- she did gymnastics with us in the yard, played water games at the beach, did the monkey bars at the playground. She was pretty cool, and quite full of life.
She seemed so youthful in my childhood days, because, well, she pretty much was a youth. By the time she was twenty-four, she had three kids. My kid won't have any memories of me in my twenties. Or thirties for that matter. If all goes well, I'll be two months shy of thirty-nine when I deliver this baby. And, you know, for the most part, I'm just fine with that. It wasn't my plan to wait this long, but hey, I'm thankful that it's even happening at all.
But I came across this about a month back, and it just made me shake my head:
What do you think the advantages are of being a younger mom?
My mom was a young mom, and I've looked up to her. I just feel that its so important to instill so many good beliefs in your children. I think I'm younger doing that-Ill have more energy in being able to bring up more positive kids than if I'm 40! But there are parents that are 40 that do a damn good job. I always wanted to be a young mom.
Well, it was nice that Britney acknowledged the possibility of parents doing a good job despite being 40 -- 40. Imagine! How do they drag their old, tired asses out of bed and do what it takes to instill "good beliefs" in their children? Oy.
Somehow, I think I'll manage. Of course, I expect it to be exhausting. Especially in the beginning. But I think it is for pretty much everyone, no? You have to rely on a sense of love and responsibility to drive you forward. And as far the running, jumping, flipping, etc.? Bring it on. I have years of stored up energy and desire for that stuff. This near-40-year-old body can take it. It will, in fact, revel in it.
I do, however, think about how I'll look over the next ten years. I know it's pretty insignificant in the larger scheme of things, but I'd like my kid to have some memories of me as a "young" woman. Or at least not a very "mature looking" woman. Thus the sunglasses, hats, etc. Let's just say that they're part of a conscious preservation effort. There's more to it than that, of course. But those are a few things that will be a permanent part of my routine. Thank goodness over-sized sunglasses are in. Let's hope they are for quite a while.
And if they're not? Oh well. Don't most moms hang onto certain fashions from their youngers days? The sunglasses might have to be my version of the sparkly blue eyeshadow.
I liked this post. Britney can...well, I'd better not say. But she's hardly the sharpest knife in the drawer, so really, it's best to just ignore her? I think the big sunglasses are a great idea.
Posted by: elle | July 19, 2006 at 06:32 PM
Oh, I agree, elle. I won't be losing any sleep over Britney's stupid comment. It just adds to my belief about what a dope she is.
How's the monkey?
Posted by: pixi | July 19, 2006 at 06:46 PM
The energy is a trade off. I think that while I dont have the stamina I did then, the changes in me mentally would have more than evened the playing field. Im much calmer now and much more efficient. I have a different view on priorities and would easily give up some of the things that I thought were vital then.
All in all, while I think I did pretty well based on my children as young adults, I think I would do a better job now.
Posted by: Amy | July 19, 2006 at 09:02 PM
if i were 20 years younger, sure - i'd be more energetic. but i'd also be more immature and neurotic and not have yet dealt with the shit i needed to deal with before inflicting myself on an innocent new life. my child and yours will be better off for having smarter, more capable, less confused parents, and with a little luck their energy will infuse us with a fresh spark, too.
Posted by: lauralu | July 20, 2006 at 08:30 AM
my mom had me when she was 32, and she was already old. When I was 32, I thought we should start thinking about having kids. Then it went genetic counselor>dna testing>PGD doctor>RE>4 IVF cyles w/ PGD>Donor eggs>healthy baby boy. I'll be 36 in September. Apparently, this is the schedule I'm on - the timing has worked out very well, despite naievely thinking that the first IVF cycle would surely work!
Your child will see you as young - it's all in the attitude. And the sunglasses. I'm so happy for you!
BTW, are you near Boston? I'll be there for a meeting the beginning of August...
Posted by: Anna | July 20, 2006 at 11:53 AM
Duh, Of course you're near Boston, didn't know if you're in Boston proper or on the outskirts. Will shut up now. Have a good day!
Posted by: Anna | July 20, 2006 at 11:55 AM
I don't live right in the city but very close. I'd love to meet up, if you're available!
Posted by: pixi | July 20, 2006 at 12:26 PM
great post. I love how BS thinks that being young means that you are more able to "instill so many good beliefs in your children." I think it is the opposite. Big sunglasses will always be in! thank you jackie O!
Posted by: stephanie | July 20, 2006 at 02:41 PM
BS -- what a perfect nickname!
Posted by: pixi | July 20, 2006 at 04:28 PM
It is amazing how many people in their 20s think people in their 40s must be infirm. What is that phrase? Ignorant youth?
Posted by: fisher queen | July 21, 2006 at 07:40 AM
If it's any consolation, my parents had me when they were 41, and they said that they enjoyed parenthood so much more in their 40s than they did in their early 20s, which is how old they were when they had my brother and sister. They think that being more settled, more financially secure, and more mature in themselves and in their marriage enabled them to be better parents. My dad went sled riding with me and took me for bike rides; he was hardly decrepit in his 40s! I remember thinking my mom was beautiful and young looking, as I'm sure your child will think of you.
Posted by: Jill | July 21, 2006 at 09:10 AM
Thanks, Jill, that IS a consolation -- especially knowing how great you turned out.
Posted by: pixi | July 21, 2006 at 09:49 AM
Ugh, BS (love the nickname too) makes me want to smack her with my cane. LOL.
Thanks for posting this... I've had some angst about this myself (tho' I haven't blogged about it, yet) because my mom was 36 when she had my younger brother. Nine years after she had me. The pressure's on (in my own head of course) to have a baby and now there's no way I'll do so while I'm still 36. But I have to remember that this is not unnatural... posts like your help immensely. :)
Posted by: Lisa P. | July 21, 2006 at 12:24 PM
BS has very appropriate initials, as she seems to be just FULL of BS.
In my ideal world, I would have liked to be younger as a new mom, but at this stage I'll be grateful just to get there at all! I also like to think I will be better for my experience and hard won wisdom when I do become a parent.
Youth has benefits but so does maturity.
Posted by: beagle | July 21, 2006 at 04:25 PM
Honestly, I'd take any parenting advice Britney offers and run the other way. Really, you're going to be a great Mum.
Posted by: Sassy | July 24, 2006 at 02:28 AM
I'm staying at the Boston Mariott Cambridge - I have time on Saturday, Aug. 5 between 1pm and 5:30 pm. How will that work for you? I'd love to get together! I will have my 4 month old with me, if that's okay. Just let me know by e-mail (anna_bunny42@yahoo.com). Hope to see you then!
Posted by: Anna | July 24, 2006 at 03:26 PM
My best friend growing up had and *older* mom. In fact, Austine had Susan when she was 45 (gasp). You know what I remember about her. That she was amazing, and brilliant, and kind. She was generous with her time and her knowledge. She was the mom we all went to with our problems. I would have never graduated from college without her help and encouragement. She got me my first job. She was endless patient with all of our adolescent mistakes. She was, in fact, the kind of mom I hope to be. You will be just like her.
Posted by: amy | July 26, 2006 at 03:43 PM
Britney Spears! Huh! I seriously doubt that she is a good mum as she claims. No doubt we'll be reading about how screwed up her kids are in the future!
Posted by: Em | July 31, 2006 at 08:13 AM
So glad to see your updates and get caught up. Congrats on breaking into the 30s in terms of weeks pg! Sending you many positive wishes as the big moment comes closer.
Posted by: Tonya | August 02, 2006 at 04:12 PM
Heh. And I was upset the first time Brit got pregnant before me... sigh...
Glad to hear your updates. Can't believe you're so far along now.
Hope you're well.
xox,
April/Underwaterclown
Posted by: April | August 09, 2006 at 07:44 PM